The hurt within the pain

That sad weird moment when people judge you because they sadly don't understand you.

What can I say other then you haven't walked a mile in my shoes and I honestly don't want you to because I don't want you to experience the pain that I've gone through the pain that I have to deal with or the debilitating pain that I go through on a daily basis emotionally, mentally and physically. 

Just know that I love you and that although you don't understand why I do what I do it's not okay to judge me or mistreat me or treat me like I am any less than you because it hurts me, I am human and have feelings too and like it hurts you when I'm doing something that you think is hurting me, please know in a way it is helping me, but it actually hurts me when you don't understand how it is helping me. 

Self love is not selfish.

How can I say I love myself yet not take care of basic needs I have, constantly keep neglecting myself because I keep giving and giving to others and leaving myself and my needs for last.

It is something that I have come to terms with that I have to work on because no one can love me better than I love me, no one else can do a better job of taking care of myself so I must do it. There's no one, no one can take care of you the way you can take care of you. 

Picture is a throwback of young Glendy in Cuba celebrating my 7th Birthday I believe. Had no idea what this world was going to be like or what my life would turn out to be like. I acquired this gem this past January as I was in Cuba back at the motherland at my grandmothers house, it was such a sweet time. I loved everything about going back, yes I was now going back as an adult, I hadn't been there or seen my family in 12 years so it was truly amazing, heart warming and eye opening seeing things differently. I loved it so much I am going back in May God willing for my cousins son's birthday! I am beyond thankful that I get to go visit them and spend time with them as the family grows and love them and receive their genuine warm love! 

I'll leave you with some pictures because I have to practice what I preach and I have to make breakfast since I just work up so I can continue to feel good and energized to do everything this beautiful day has to offer! 

Much love & peace, 

Glendy Rocha

On the way to Grandmas House in La Coloma, Pinar deal Rio, Cuba

Finally reunited with my Designer/Artist cousin who inspired me and helped me believe in going after your dreams even if they were different. 

My mom with her two sisters and I 

My beautiful 83 year old grandmother, my mom's Mom.

My story is nothing like yours & that's ok

27 Years Young

This is my story and it does not have to be anything like anybody else's. So many years of trying to live up to people's standards or opinions, always trying to fit in, walking on eggshells and trying to be "good enough", its all a midst that is quickly fading when you were born to stand out, be different and break the mold!

As I sit here and wonder where this life will take me I can only thank God for allowing me to live for these 27 years. It has not been long but it seems much longer. I have dealt with so much and so much has been thrown my way since before I was born, before I was conceived in my mother's womb there was a fight going on for me not to make it because of the greatness that was put inside of me. I don't say that to boast about me but about God, my God, the one living inside of me, the one who died for you and me.

Like I said earlier, this is my story and I honestly do not expect it to be like any other. For a long time I thought my life had to be like someone else's or things had to go a certain way, I thought I had to be married and with kids by a certain date or with a successful business to provide the fancy yacht for my dad and the high paying job to live comfortably so mom and dad won't have to worry but what if that is not the way Jesus made it out to be? I mean is that what this life is really about? I'll leave that for another time, back to my story.

So yes this young 27 year old woman was born in Cuba after 9 long months of bed rest from my beautiful mother due to the high risk pregnancy that I was, as I blessed God's mighty earth on August 9, 1989. I was born and half raised in Havana, Cuba until I migrated to the U.S. at 9 years old when that same beautiful hard working dentist of a mother won the Cuban lottery and we were chosen to come from Cuba to the United States! I remember just like yesterday leaving the place I had known all my life, all my friends but being promised a better future and a brighter life where I could make choices and be what I wanted to be and do whatever I wanted to do with my life, as long as I did something, that was all that mattered...

To be continued.....

Travel and see my loves

I am by far the coolest person I know. lol. just kidding, but really, I think I like who I am becoming. Like who books a flight out of nowhere I mean I have reasons my godson and his family moved to GA but still lol who does that just randomly books a flight to be in another state for 24 hours with the people you love? It is absolutely ridiculous and amazing!  I miss my beautiful St Felix family of four so so so much! I can't wait to see them and be with them! Thankfully through Spirit I was able to book the flight for under $70 round trip which is not bad at all, I mean come on we spend $70 on a meal we cant spend it to go to another state and explore and see the beauty of mountains and fresh air and people we love? I can't ask for more! I am so thankful God is so amazing and His grace, His love keeps overflowing as we let Him lead the way, because He is the way, the truth and the life!!!

P.S. In case you want to know more about booking with spirit for the low-low, send me a message I'll be more than glad to help you travel the US for under $70 round trips :)

These are my beautiful kiddos that I get to go and spend some time with <3

with every blessing comes a trial

with every blessing comes a trial, with every trial comes endurance or resistance, you choose but if you endure you will feel joy, a joy that is everlasting.

these boys ain't loyal

This is going to be a tough one... but somebody's gotta do it, and I was blessed with a bold spirit and an amazing attitude.. full of gratitude! & that's exactly where I want to start at because I have realized that one must be thankful for all that we experience and go through on a DAILY BASIS! Crazy I know, but as time goes on I am learning more and more that not only this too shall pass but also it is serving a purpose, there's a reason for it and I am learning something from it so i must be grateful! It can be something I want, something I don't want in a person that I am learning and that my friends believe it or not is shaping us and in some weird way shaping and allowing us to see what we want, don't want, will settle for and will not settle for.

In my short time on earth I believe I have been in relationships whether intimate or not with plenty of men and boys, to come to the conclusion that "these boys ain't loyal". Notice I said boys and not necessarily men because there is a difference, men know what they want and go after it, boys like to play games and go around seeing what sticks to them... plain and simple.

Okay... so here is what I have experienced, now don't knock me down I have actually gone through this in the past at different points in my life with different people, different situations and based on my experience here is the data I have collected.

If a boy/men does not have a vision or plan for his life he really can't take you seriously. (taking you out to dinner, drinks, dating, having sleepovers and sex with you is not taking you seriously) why do I say this you may ask? He has no real agenda for his life and neither for you in his life. I say that because if a man really knew the purpose that he was created for and the help that he need to accomplish that purpose he would realize the need he has for you in life because of the help you will provide and how you will be able to help one another out.

Countless times have I tried to help someone I was in a relationship with in some shape or form and countless times have I wanted them to see my potential and how I can be of benefit to them or build a life together and countless times, again and again I have seen it demolished right in front of my eyes or even backfire. It never really ends up in any good because these boys don't feel like they need help, they feel like they got themselves or they have mom that helps them, either or they have no need for you so only choose to see you as an option and a form of entertainment, try to pass some time or see how far they can get with you.

Even sadder is that this world is now getting used to this fake instant gratification from instagram hearts and facebook likes. They run to a quick snap of a friend only one picture away. It is sad what dating in this day has come down to. There is no consistency and all this independence, all this social media portraying of what "bae" should look like, all these DM's that are unheard of, unseen snaps, no one knows what loyalty is nowadays, it is rare and it doesn't exist to many and this technology is only making  it worse!

What happened to the days you used to talk to one person and make things work, better yet pursue that person to pursue a future together, I think that's the different between men and boys. One knows what they want while the other is constantly in search of it. What happens to the days when being loyal meant everything? Having someones back and supporting them was one of the first things that needed to be there? This world as we know it, if we don't do our part to change it and correct something when we know is wrong is doomed! Jesus, please take the wheel! This world needs more of you! P.S. For my sisters out there, please know that if he is not chasing after Jesus then he shouldn't be chasing after you. That's what the next post will be about how we must remember our worth and value and not try to justify or rationalize why we should stay in a relationship we know we have no business being in!

I finally said Yes!

October 6, 2016

Why you love me, I'll never know... but I'll tell the world until everyone knows! 

It has seriously been a RELENTLESS PURSUIT. God has been chasing after me like no other, like no one ever has or will, for that matter. I am truly humbled, honored, privileged to be chosen to be given all of this love, mercy and grace which I thought I was so undeserving off. I am thankful to God for not leaving my side when things got ugly and even when I turned away from Him and did not seek Him like I should have. I am thankful He did not give up even when I thought I did. 

So, with that being said.... I finally said Yes! I said yes to God! October 6, 2016 was the day I said I do and I will and yes yes yes! I honestly did not plan it or saw it happening this way, but He did! (Because He knows us better than we know ourselves)

You see, I thought I was "married to Jesus" this whole time but little did I know I was only dating him! What am I saying, I sound like a crazy woman lol but I have to be real with God and myself first and after a couple of heart checks I realized I would go on dates with Jesus from time to time and then go on dates with people or things of this world I had already dropped in my past.

When you are in a commitment, relationship, or "engaged" to someone you should not be talking or entertaining other people or things and that's what happened friends, that's part of my story. Crazy thing is that while growing up this was something that was instilled in me from my parents, when you have a boyfriend it's that person that you are committed to and no one else but something happened along the way where something changed. 

After much running around and not being pleased by anything or anyone in this world, (the Lord allowed a lot to happen so that I can see that it truly is all vanity like Ecclesiastes says) I finally decided (a choice and decision I came to make based on past experiences) it was time to step my commitment up a notch and re-commit myself to Him alone and not others until and if He decides to bring someone else in my life that will love me, pursue me, chase me, treat me, value me, accept me, challenge me and appreciate me the way that He does! I want to and need to be FAITHFUL to Him first and then if it is meant to be with someone else at least I will have this solid foundation of being faithful and loyal to God first before everyone and everything else. 

Listen up, this is hard, it took me five years to say yes to this commitment, and now I am even more scared, this is something serious and it is not to be played with but I figured if I don't start here by submitting to God now in my single season how do I expect to humble myself and submit myself to any other human being? It took a while to get me here but I am grateful that God doesn't give up on us even if other people do. It is going to be hard but no one said relationships were easy and that's exactly what I am doing building a real relationship with my one true King the one that will be with me eternity and beyond because this life is fleeting, these riches, these looks, none of this goes to heaven with us so why focus on anything else but that which will last through eternity & beyond? Like Luke says, the birds don't work and they get food so why do we worry about our tomorrow when today is not even done with yet? 

Tunnel vision to what God has for me and what He wants from me. I know there is a lot for me to do on this planet earth until I am called home so I will follow Jesus as He leads me to my promise land and all that He has called me to be! There's a lot to do and not enough time, I am done wanting to be someone's wife because I am someone's bride to be and His love is like nothing I can get from anyone on earth. His love just fills you up and makes you feel free and alive! 

King Jesus and Glendy till the end! 

Comment below with your questions I would love to answer any doubts! 

Beauty in Single Season

Wow! Who would have thought that there's beauty in being single? Being free to do what you want when you want how you want without having to live physically to please anyone else?! Aahhhh talk about sweet sweet freedom! Going to Walmart grocery shopping at 1am?! Who does that? Yup I sure do. Lunchables and Vanilla Coke in bed at 2:50am?! Who does that? Yup the freedom of #foreveralone provides that! I am so happy to experience this right now because I know one day things might not be like this so I am trying to enjoy and make the best out of every day!

Loving & Leaving

Sometimes walking away when you feel like staying is the best you can do. Sometimes letting go when it feels wrong is better to do then to stay knowing you should go. At times you may want to stay but you know you have to go. All of it hurts, there's pain that comes from loving and leaving and loving and staying. There's pain that comes from staying when you know you should go because they are not taking you seriously. You know their potential, know how things could be but they don't so how dare you stay.., but really how dare you go? When and how do you know it's time to go? Or time to stay? Sometimes it's easier to go at that moment but then you stay questioning it when you are in your loneliness. Should you have left? Is that what love does? Does love really walk away? Or love endures and stays through the good and bad. Why is it that we think if we love something we must let it go and if it comes back it was always yours. Is that a lie we have been fed this whole

Time because I have left time and time again and I still wonder if that was the right choice for some. 

I'm thankful for the alone times to think breathe and go, go as I please when I want so for that I'm thankful. Thankful that God has a plan and that I no longer go, I now stay at His feet until He says otherwise so he can mold me and shape me into the kingdom woman and wife He has called me to be! 

Beauty in Single Season

Single for a reason & a season

Finally! I have arrived at a place where I am actually happy to be single for this season in my life. It does get "lonely" some days but I most importantly know that God is with me at all times so I must feel complete because I am with Him. I don't need anyone or anything else in this world because at the end of the day no one can satisfy like He does and only He can.

There is so much to do, it is such a beautiful thing to be single, the freedom that I have is beyond amazing. I mean this is coming now from the girl that has been in relationships for the past 14 years non stop pretty much. I mean yes I have gotten breaks in between where I am single for seasons, for months but then someone comes along, I fall for it, give my heart away, have it shatter into pieces and then I find myself, "alone" picking up those pieces. The beauty is that while I am down low on the floor picking up the pieces of my broken heart, I find Jesus there telling me He loves me over and over again and I find contentment, fulfillment and joy in that. I must admit, I am scared to love again, maybe scared is not the word but cautious. I am tired of being hurt honestly, I just want to be alone with God and pursue Him and no one or anything else. I wish all outside distractions can be zapped and I can just continue to do as I am doing, serving Him and His people.

You see, for a long time I was the girl that did not like to be alone, I was always with someone or a bunch of people. I liked to stay with a group of friends, hang out, do whatever, but I did not like to be alone. I always had somewhere to go, someone to see, something to do. God had to show me that I do not always have to be with someone, doing something, going somewhere. I can be happy alone at home with Him. I can be satisfied going to eat breakfast alone with Him and Him alone (God). I can be happy just enjoying His presence in my life and not having to be with someone else. It feels good to not want anything with anyone just because I have wanted something with someone for so long. I now feel like no I am good alone, I don't need you or anything else.

There is so much to write from how you will never find true happiness in that person because true happiness and fulfillment can only come from God and truly loving yourself the way He loves you. Let yourself be loved by our Father as I am still learning to be loved. It was always easy for me to love and not be loved in return and that's why I always got hurt, I always gave too much and received too little but that is probably how God feels with us... He gives us so much of His love and we sometimes don't know how to receive it. I just realized .. God loves us so so so much, If we could only fully receive His love we would be so much better off and have such a better understanding of who we are because of Who's we are! Thank you Jesus!