Single for a reason & a season
Finally! I have arrived at a place where I am actually happy to be single for this season in my life. It does get "lonely" some days but I most importantly know that God is with me at all times so I must feel complete because I am with Him. I don't need anyone or anything else in this world because at the end of the day no one can satisfy like He does and only He can.
There is so much to do, it is such a beautiful thing to be single, the freedom that I have is beyond amazing. I mean this is coming now from the girl that has been in relationships for the past 14 years non stop pretty much. I mean yes I have gotten breaks in between where I am single for seasons, for months but then someone comes along, I fall for it, give my heart away, have it shatter into pieces and then I find myself, "alone" picking up those pieces. The beauty is that while I am down low on the floor picking up the pieces of my broken heart, I find Jesus there telling me He loves me over and over again and I find contentment, fulfillment and joy in that. I must admit, I am scared to love again, maybe scared is not the word but cautious. I am tired of being hurt honestly, I just want to be alone with God and pursue Him and no one or anything else. I wish all outside distractions can be zapped and I can just continue to do as I am doing, serving Him and His people.
You see, for a long time I was the girl that did not like to be alone, I was always with someone or a bunch of people. I liked to stay with a group of friends, hang out, do whatever, but I did not like to be alone. I always had somewhere to go, someone to see, something to do. God had to show me that I do not always have to be with someone, doing something, going somewhere. I can be happy alone at home with Him. I can be satisfied going to eat breakfast alone with Him and Him alone (God). I can be happy just enjoying His presence in my life and not having to be with someone else. It feels good to not want anything with anyone just because I have wanted something with someone for so long. I now feel like no I am good alone, I don't need you or anything else.
There is so much to write from how you will never find true happiness in that person because true happiness and fulfillment can only come from God and truly loving yourself the way He loves you. Let yourself be loved by our Father as I am still learning to be loved. It was always easy for me to love and not be loved in return and that's why I always got hurt, I always gave too much and received too little but that is probably how God feels with us... He gives us so much of His love and we sometimes don't know how to receive it. I just realized .. God loves us so so so much, If we could only fully receive His love we would be so much better off and have such a better understanding of who we are because of Who's we are! Thank you Jesus!