these boys ain't loyal

This is going to be a tough one... but somebody's gotta do it, and I was blessed with a bold spirit and an amazing attitude.. full of gratitude! & that's exactly where I want to start at because I have realized that one must be thankful for all that we experience and go through on a DAILY BASIS! Crazy I know, but as time goes on I am learning more and more that not only this too shall pass but also it is serving a purpose, there's a reason for it and I am learning something from it so i must be grateful! It can be something I want, something I don't want in a person that I am learning and that my friends believe it or not is shaping us and in some weird way shaping and allowing us to see what we want, don't want, will settle for and will not settle for.

In my short time on earth I believe I have been in relationships whether intimate or not with plenty of men and boys, to come to the conclusion that "these boys ain't loyal". Notice I said boys and not necessarily men because there is a difference, men know what they want and go after it, boys like to play games and go around seeing what sticks to them... plain and simple.

Okay... so here is what I have experienced, now don't knock me down I have actually gone through this in the past at different points in my life with different people, different situations and based on my experience here is the data I have collected.

If a boy/men does not have a vision or plan for his life he really can't take you seriously. (taking you out to dinner, drinks, dating, having sleepovers and sex with you is not taking you seriously) why do I say this you may ask? He has no real agenda for his life and neither for you in his life. I say that because if a man really knew the purpose that he was created for and the help that he need to accomplish that purpose he would realize the need he has for you in life because of the help you will provide and how you will be able to help one another out.

Countless times have I tried to help someone I was in a relationship with in some shape or form and countless times have I wanted them to see my potential and how I can be of benefit to them or build a life together and countless times, again and again I have seen it demolished right in front of my eyes or even backfire. It never really ends up in any good because these boys don't feel like they need help, they feel like they got themselves or they have mom that helps them, either or they have no need for you so only choose to see you as an option and a form of entertainment, try to pass some time or see how far they can get with you.

Even sadder is that this world is now getting used to this fake instant gratification from instagram hearts and facebook likes. They run to a quick snap of a friend only one picture away. It is sad what dating in this day has come down to. There is no consistency and all this independence, all this social media portraying of what "bae" should look like, all these DM's that are unheard of, unseen snaps, no one knows what loyalty is nowadays, it is rare and it doesn't exist to many and this technology is only making  it worse!

What happened to the days you used to talk to one person and make things work, better yet pursue that person to pursue a future together, I think that's the different between men and boys. One knows what they want while the other is constantly in search of it. What happens to the days when being loyal meant everything? Having someones back and supporting them was one of the first things that needed to be there? This world as we know it, if we don't do our part to change it and correct something when we know is wrong is doomed! Jesus, please take the wheel! This world needs more of you! P.S. For my sisters out there, please know that if he is not chasing after Jesus then he shouldn't be chasing after you. That's what the next post will be about how we must remember our worth and value and not try to justify or rationalize why we should stay in a relationship we know we have no business being in!